I thought I am sick, until I got to know I was suffering an Anxiety Disorder

Once i remember in my school days i used to tell my mother that i find it difficult to balance, while standing for a prayer in school assembly.

I remember blacking out for few seconds as soon as i got up from bed with the thought that i have to go school.I remeber my stomach clutching as soon as i used to reach near the school.

Mumma said this is all because i don’t eat food properly and i believed it.

Everything got fine after that until in 2016 when I reached in my year drop where i was preparing for a medical entrance exam away from home. First two months were fine and then i suddenly couldn’t sleep at all. Daily i used to see sunrising from the window.The whole night i used to hallucinate.I suffered from fissures and constipation eventually. Slowly i started vomiting every time i ate or drink any and everything.

I was taken to multiple doctors and was treated for months but no one could diagnose anything specific. The doctors said that everything was psychological even my loose motions ,my vomiting .my acidity tightness and shortness of Breath (which i thought was asthma) was psychological. Doctors also told my parents to spy on me whether i used to vomit deliberately by putting finger in my mouth.

Though these doctors told that everything was psychological but never suggested me to visit a psychiatrist.

It was only when i went to a psychiatrist without telling my parents for the treatment of Complex Post Traumatic Disorder a.k.a C-PTSD(later i was sexually abused by my cousin to acquire c-PTSD) that i realised eventually that all that puking ,stomach ache ,tightness of chest ,shortness of breath ,hot flashes ,shivering and catching cold now and then, heart palpitations, acne everything was related to my anxiety and not any other illness or weakness.

I don’t want to blame my parents and previous doctors who told it was “psychological” but i want to blame the society which has least mental health awareness. People in our country think visiting a psychiatrist portray that the person is mad.Some where it’s a taboo to visit a psychiatrist in indian families.

What exactly Anxiety disorders bring changes in our body according to psychiatrist.

For myself and 70 million plus people who live with anxiety in india, absolutely is a physical experience. When our brain senses danger (real or perceived, incoming attacker or loudly honking car), the amygdala sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus, which then releases a cascade of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to prepare the rest of our body for action.

Physiologists have termed this the “fight or flight response,” since it primed our earliest ancestors to either fight against the incoming danger, or run the hell away from it.

The rush of hormones causes our heart to beat wildly, our blood pressure to rise, and our senses to sharpen, along with a host of other physical symptoms, all so we can respond to danger. What’s more, the book Mindfulness and Psychotherapy explains that the hippocampus, which is close to the amygdala, is responsible for storing our emotional memory—which means that even a traumatic memory or something that reminds us of danger can trigger that same panic response.

When we look at anxiety from an evolutionary perspective, the physical symptoms start to make more sense. But why, then, might someone crap her pants during a date because a car honked too loud and then have to end the date early and waddle ten blocks back to her apartment to change her pants? This is due to the body’s gut-brain connection, which explains the nausea, vomiting, and pants-crapping we might experience in a state of extreme hyper-arousal.

Mental health shouldn’t be a taboo!

The problem with mental Illness is that every person who has never experienced it or has is not aware off, have different and unacceptable veiws for it.

People experiencing mental illness are subjected to social stigma, ridiculed for “just in your head” issues and told their problem is “all an excuse”.
People have been told that they dont need medication, but just need to be more motivated.
“What do you mean you are disabled from anxiety? We all have anxiety.”
But, ma’am/sir anxiety is a disorder which should not be confused with feeling of “butterflies in your stomach”.
“Just try to think positive once ,its all in your head.”
My dear friend , that’s the problem we are paralyzed to think.
“Someone said I had OCD and their reply was “oh so you like to clean then”. Hold on, OCD is characterized by Excessive thoughts that lead to repetitive behaviours adding on with anxiety , depression , nightmares and behavioural changes.
“you’re doing this for attention”
“you’re faking it” “you want to kill yourself? grabs knives from drawer, sets them all in front cut yourself & we’ll bury you outside.”
Friend, why can’t you just grab her and tell we’ll fight with you instead of grabbing a knife?
“If it was that bad you would have already killed your self, but you are alive.”

So aren’t you happy that im alive?!!!
Are you noticing the courage i need to gain to be alive ?
“Once you are settled , you are working When you’ll have a job and a family, all these thoughts will disappear.It’s because you are still young and not enough busy. “

Hey, first of all mental Illness is prone to every age group and second we suffer from the same thing even when working or if we have a family ,until proper medication.

Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Schizophrenia, ADHD/ADD, Borderline Personality Disorder, Multiple Personality Disorder, Bipolar and so many others are illnesses that the brain is able to acquire.
.
Each disorder effects different parts of the brain and how the brain works. .
In order for the brain to work properly, every part of the brain needs to function 100%
And people saying it’s all in your brain.

I say YES, YES ,YES its in our brain and brain is a vital organ of body ,and so it is very important to treat it correctly.

There are people who believe depression is simply a form being sad, and anxiety is worrying too much and that OCD is a behavior problem for people who are just too uptight.They believe the soul is sick, rather than the body.

Or that the sufferer is not really suffering from something that deserves a doctor’s attention and just needs to “chill out.”
There are people that think mental illness is a matter of mood, or of personality.
Maybe this is because mental Illness is harder to measure unlike diabetes, cardiac arrest, etc.
Which makes it harder to understand.
And Some people are ignorant by choice and make judgments about things they don’t know simply because they are either scared of or don’t understand them.
But if you believe in science, then getting a deep cut on your hand needs to be treated, right?

In the same way, a bruised brain needs to be treated and healed, which come with a lot of patience and time.

SO YES IT’S IN OUR HEAD!
WE HAVE A BRUISED BRAIN,&
IT WILL TAKE IT’S OWN TIME TO HEAL!

Thanks to all the people out there saying its in your head, for i could take right steps to heal it.

We also learnt that the awareness for rape, sexual harrasment ,domestic violence, human trafficking is coming up in this era and though the same is reoccurring.

But for mental health people don’t even have the awareness. It is really very important for us, the country and the world to understand how important mental health is.